So, here I was in rehab. I was the complete opposite of "all dressed up and nowhere to go." I had my grey sweats, plaid flannel p.j.pants, four pairs of socks, four pairs of underwear, a bra and some tennis shoes.
So I thanked God when I was one of the other residents said she would take me shopping during free time. "Yeah, you can't go by yourself, cuz you just got here, but I'll take you. You got money, right?" I didn't have much, but one of the other girls said Old Navy was having a killer sale.
So after what seemed like the longest orientation and group session, off we ran. We only had about 2 hours, and had to walk at least 20 minutes to get there...it gave us a chance to talk a bit, and for me to thank her profusely for doing what I considered to be a huge favor for me, a virtual stranger.
As for the shopping, I was impressed. I had never shopped at Old Navy before. I got 2 pairs of jeans for 98 cents each, a jean skirt. and like 5 short and long-sleeved knit tops and t-shirts. I also got a pair of flip-flops. I spent less than sixty bucks. Thank you, Old Navy. =)
I have always been proud of my ability to stretch a dollar. But I was more proud of the fact that I was taking care of myself, doing something for me. I picked up a little make-up, some shampoo and shower gel - things to pamper myself. It felt really good. I couldn't remember the last time I bought myself anything to help me feel nice.
And I had never made such an investment of my time and resources as taking a month off work. But this was an investment - in me. And I damned-well deserved it. It may be a while before I believe that I deserve it, but that doesn't mean it's not true.
Those comfy new clothes came in handy on Sunday...I took my free time and went for a walk on the beach. It was amazing to enjoy the sand, the surf, the sea gulls, just the freedom that was beginning to wash over me.
I never had to drink again, if I so chose. And the idea of living a life free from the bottle sounded pretty friggin' awesome to me.
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