An Empty E.R.?

I still find it strange and miraculous that the emergency room was empty that day.  It was almost surreal - like they were expecting me.  As if they knew that if I had to wait any amount of time to be seen, I might bolt.

The nurse brought me right in and took my vitals.  When was your last drink?  It had been about ten or twelve hours ago.  I was starting to feel really sick - I was withdrawing from alcohol.

If I were at home, I would be drinking.  I wouldn't necessarily feel good, but better than this.  They gave me Ativan, to help with withdrawal, I guess.  One of the nurses told me they would probably give me a prescription for Librium and send me home.  I knew that Librium was an anti-anxiety medication used to help with the effects of withdrawal from alcohol.

When the doctor came in, I told him what the nurse had said about sending me home with a scrip.  Like any good doctor, he said "Well, how do you feel about that?"  I just shook my head for what seemed like several minutes.  It was actually only about 15 seconds.

And then it happened.  For the first time in years, I was completely honest with a doctor.  "I'm an alcoholic.  If you send me home with a bottle of pills, I'm just gonna be drinking again by dinner time.  I came here because I can't do this by myself.  I can't go home."

In less than an hour, I had met with a liaison for the hospital's Detox wing.  She secured a bed for me there.   I was glad I had thought to bring a few clothes, for I would be allowed to wear my own where I was going.

When I got to Detox, they let me keep my cell phone, but I was told I couldn't have my cigarettes.  What?  Oh, that's right, 5 days ago, I bought a pack of Marlboro Reds on my umpteenth trip to the liquor store.  I guess I thought they would calm me down so I could sleep.  What the hell?  The booze wasn't working, and I was out of weed, so at this point I'd try anything. 

Well I wasn't to have any trouble sleeping that night.  They gave me Valium, and were constantly taking my blood pressure.  Normally, it was 110/70, pretty damned good.  But today it was through the roof, and they were afraid I might have a seizure, blah, blah, blah...So every time they took my BP, it was too high, so they gave me more Valium.  Good night.


We'll talk more about my brief love/hate relationship with "Benzos" next time.